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So awhile back I shared a ridiculous headcanon about Lily’s inability to say “Prongs” in anything but her dead sexy voice. Of course, it turns James on like nothing else. I vaguely promised a fic about it…. Excessive fluff and even a little bit of smut at the end-my first/probs only attempt at that so go easy on me. This is ridiculous, okay, and far from perfect, but here you go.

The Power of Prongs



“Interesting good, or interesting my girlfriend is going to be a crank all morning?”

Kissing her temple, her boyfriend breaks the news, “Love, you’re already a crank this morning.”

Although he deserves a sharp elbow for that cheek, really, but resorting to physical violence, Lily knows, would only prove his point. Besides, even she can admit that she’s nobody’s idea of a morning person.

They’d come down half an hour before, breakfasting rather earlier than usual. She’d normally protest this, loudly and obnoxiously, but as it had been her idea, however, it would be bad form. She’d spent the first ten or so minutes staring, trance like, into her cup of warm tea, willing the steam to wake her up.

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MULTIPLE people I am following are asking what these are, why we call them holy when only one has a hole. If they are made by the same company, and what is with us praising these.

I weep for you people, from other countries. WEEP.

Aussies may have Tim Tams.

EU may have Kinder and All sorts of fantastic biscuits.


Not only are these things SINFULLY good, they are only sold for a bit over 1 month of the year, depending on region, that month of the year changes.

That middle one is Chocolate, Caramel Coconut. The left one is Peanut Butter, chocolate and sex on a stick aka crumbly cookie/biscuit.

You can eat em straight from the box, but pros? Pros eat these bad boys frozen.

And thin mints, man. that right one? THIN MINTS. You may have heard of these. Chocolate biscuit infused with mint essence coated in dark chocolate.


Those thin mints.

The Thin Mints for which every grown ass American on a Medical Diet cries for when they see a girlscout.

The Thin Mints with 1000 copycats, and not a one of them successful.

Girl Scouts, regularly boycotted by Fundies and Anti-choice nutters, not only taste amazing, but you get the joy of giving money to a good cause, while subtly flipping the bird at overly wound up fundie groups.

It’s like donating to Planned Parenthood and getting a box of double dark chocolate with fudge filling tim-tams especially made for them.

The reason we eat them frozen is that we buy as many boxes of thin mints as we possibly can during that short sale period, and then store them for the dark months, like proud American squirrels.


(Source: hotsenator)

Fresh Prince of Hogwarts


In Godric’s hollow,

Born (but not raised),

With dead parents was how I spent most of my days,

Chillin’ out, flyin ‘round and acting so cool,

Waving that wand like I was no fool,

When a bald, evil dude who was up to no good,

Started making trouble in my neighbourhood,

I got one little scar and Dumbledore got scared,

He said you’re moving with your Aunt Petunia under the stairs.


I went to a party once and everyone was supposed to pitch in some money to buy adderall. I had never tried or even heard of it but I was young and stupid so I gave them 20 bucks. Later on, after we all took it, everybody was going crazy and having a good time and I was just sitting on the couch quietly so I googled ‘adderall’ on my phone and learned that it’s used to treat ADHD.

I have ADHD.

I paid 20 dollars to calm down.


the one thing that has stuck with me every day since my English teacher told me it in middle school is:

"When referring to someone, always say who they are before anything else about them, because being a person always comes first"

Instead of saying “the mentally ill man,” say “the man with a mental illness”

Putting someone’s characteristics (especially negative ones) before them is dehumanizing and rude. Don’t do it.

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